Zikkety-Zak

ADD, ADHD, and those kinds of brains

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.... ..PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

Somehow I feel better even though everybody has it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,  I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the

can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,

a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.\

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of


Pepsi sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can’t find the remote,

I can’t find my glasses,

and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,   I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I’m really tired.   I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it,   but first I’ll check my e-mail….   Do me a favor.   Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember who the hell I’ve sent it to.   Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!

Tags: brain, intelligence, old age
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