Zikkety-Zak

Welcome back to Zikkety-Zak

  • Home
  • Today’s Zikkety-Zak
  • Welcome back to Zikkety-Zak

health news from Department of Understanding Humans ( D.U.H.)

Author: Admin

Easy AdSense by Unreal

Source:   Department of Understanding Humans    Duhnews.biz

startling health news.

Important conclusion just realized after centuries of research and analysis.

Based on information from a variety of sources. the Department of Understanding Humans, or D.U.H, has concluded that people who eat clean, simple food and keep their bodies active tend to live longer lives, with less pain and discomfort.

The D. U.H. research consortium reported that for a long time, many people remained clueless as to what type of food and behavior might lead to longer, happier lives.    Then, in a remarkable series of discoveries, based on very old evidence, the study proved to investigators that many cultures survived for thousands of years living mostly outdoors, learning all about the plants, animals, and weather in their habitat, and that they could live rather well and pass down their knowledge to children for millenia, in spite of climate change and even mass extinctions of other animal species.   Eating natural foods and doing a lot of outdoor activities seems to have worked quite well for them.

Professor B. G. Brain even acknowledged, ” we don’t know how they did it. It seems that in spite of their not having our modern tools and conveniences, or a mall, not even a strip mall, they somehow managed to endure all kinds of weather, navigate, and build actual homes. ”     “Amazing”, he continued.   “It must be something they ate or their personal habits of vigorous hunting or farming.  It is quite likely that their family and tribal structure, and some of their mythical beliefs may have contributed to their extended reign on earth that lasted for tens of thousands of years.”

Graduate student S. Tupido was also extremely impressed by the findings of this latest study, which took years to complete.   She said, “my boyfriend and I went camping last summer, and we got lost.    The food was terrible, and we had to cook it ourselves.   Can you imagine, and no toilets ??      These ancient people must have been weird.  The food they ate must have been gross !    Maybe the aliens helped them.

I mean, where did they get stuff if there weren’t any malls ?”  she mused.

This is truly a remarkable finding.   Critics are wondering why it took so long to complete the study and why it cost so much.   The D.U.H. responded by saying it is most important that such a monumental conclusion be prefaced by diligent research done by serious professional scientists who are experts in their respective fields.    Money is well spent on study, their spokesperson said.

In addition, the spokesperson hinted at some other study results that will be released soon.    Only one hint she could give this reporter;    turns out, smoke is not so good to breathe, she said.  How could we have imagined?    She said there would be many more important details in the actual report when it is finally printed.

Amazing, the stuff you learn every day.     Stay tuned.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 13th, 2010 at 12:02 pm and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  • Categories

    • Humor (13)
    • News (18)
  • Twitter feed

    zikketyzak

    zikketyzak

    2 hours ago

    "The Tao is always at ease, overcomes without competing, answers without speech, arrives uncalled, accomplishes without plan." Tao Te Ching

    zikketyzak

    zikketyzak

    4 hours ago

    More news from D.U.H. New language discovered DUHspeak livingbeing.com/duhnews/?p=346 simple words confuse brain spoken by many

    zikketyzak

    zikketyzak

    11 hours ago

    HOW STUPID PEOPLE GET ELECTED satire, funny, livingbeing.com/duhnews/?p=120 duhnews.biz Important news from D.U.H.

    zikketyzak

    zikketyzak

    12 hours ago

    IF YOU SAVE JUST 10 MINUTES / DAY YOU'LL GAIN 60 HOURS / YR, for celebration, joy. Time, our greatest resource livingbeing.com/time

    zikketyzak

    zikketyzak

    12 hours ago

    WORKING HARD DOESN'T ALWAYS MAKE YOU RICH funny article livingbeing.com/duhnews/?p=228 duhnews.biz Important news from D.U.H.

  • Recent Posts

    • Santa’s up to something…
    • Funny pets from YouTube
    • Happy Easter
    • ADD, ADHD, and those kinds of brains
    • Dementia test -
    • health news from Department of Understanding Humans ( D.U.H.)
    • funny signs…
    • Funny winter photos
    • Vampire village – the town that sucked
    • dunce dog
    • top dog
    • jumping jacks
    • Bug face
    • Ode to iPhone-funny
    • cheap live chickens
  • Our great connections

    • Aviation blog, info
    • Checklists blog
    • Great photo Ecards
    • Join our group of sites, free photo ecards
    • More weird stuff
    • News from D.U.H.
    • Time: our greatest resource
  • Pages

    • Today’s Zikkety-Zak
    • Welcome back to Zikkety-Zak
  • Tags

    balls bunny car cat chicken Christmas cow deer dog duck Easter ecards fish funny geek girl gorilla heaven horse Humor India intelligence iphone joke jump music NYC old age pet pet rescue picture pig poem punk quote roadkill sale Santa shop skunk snowman summer Tibet Twitter word fun
  •  

    February 2010
    M T W T F S S
    « Jan   Apr »
    1234567
    891011121314
    15161718192021
    22232425262728
  • Sponsored Links

Copyright © 2012 - Zikkety-Zak | Entries (RSS) | Comments (RSS)

WordPress theme designed by web design