In a surprise announcement today, D.U.H. said it had finally realized why some of the governments were not functioning very well.

Professor Brain, the D.U.H. spokesperson, said their investigation concluded that the reason there were so many problems in government is that some stupid people vote ( quite a lot of them, actually ).    ”Some of them even get elected,”  he said, and that’s the rub.

C.O.S.P.   Constituency of Stupid People plagues countries

Mr. Brain said, “we determined that there is a large group of miscellaneous people who we call the  C.O.S.P.  for Constituency of Stupid People, who sway a lot of elections in many countries.    These are people who vote for candidates based on their looks, or how they talk, how rich they are, or even where they live, instead of how smart they are, their character, or their education level.    This solves one of the great mysteries;  why stupid people get elected.”

“We really don’t know how to solve this problem,”  he said.   What we would like to do is ask all voters before they vote, whether or not they might be a member of  C.O.S.P.    However, most likely if we did, most of them would lie, and go right ahead and vote.”    It’s hard to tell who these people are, ” he continued, ” many of them look normal on the outside.”

“Another thing we could try is to get our schools involved, to help more of them become smart, but that may not be very effective because many teachers are also members of C.O.S.P.  ”It’s very scary,”  he continued, “there are lot more of them than we realized.   In fact, in some countries they are getting close to a majority.”

Politicians study how to get C.O.S.P. members to vote for them ( S.V.P.)

The study also concluded that many politicians know about the C.O.S.P. and say things to get their votes.    For example, they might promise everyone they will become wealthy and never have to pay taxes, as soon as they get some power in government.   This type of promise attracts lots of votes from C.O.S.P. members.   A lot of politicians get together before elections and discuss at length how they can attract the S.P.V. or Stupid People Vote.   They have gotten very good at this by now.”

“The only way smart people can win elections is to persuade the S.V.P. ( you know who we mean ), that there is a smart way to do things.   However, it is not easy to persuade them because, well, you know.

“Many of the C.O.S.P. members like war a lot, and almost all of them think their country is the best one on the planet, no matter what it does.   This is one of the reasons there are so many conflicts around the world,”  said one scientist.    We heard one say, “we want more wars, but not in our country.    We’d like to kill all the bad people in the world so they can’t get near us.” Another member of the committee said, “this trend is likely to continue.  Once C.O.S.P. members get political power, it’s pretty much all downhill from there.  That’s what we discovered in our research.   At one time there were some really big civilizations, but then the C.O.S.P. people came in, and that was it.   The end.”

Conclusion results in new studies

The committee’s conclusions have resulted in the founding of C.S.S.P    ( Commission to Study Stupid People ), and the S.P.S.P.  ( Society for Prevention of Stupid People )  in hopes of addressing this problem.   “We wish there were more smart people”, said one of the founding members.    ”The way things look now, it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen any time soon, so we expect this unfortunate trend to continue.”

HUH?

Tags: education, government, politics, taxes

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